Depending on your personal situation, online dating might be a completely new thing to you. For many who are over 50, the internet didn’t even exist when they were dating, let alone meeting someone on the Worldwide Web.

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The best piece of Christian dating advice is this: “too fast” is only what you make of it. And so, like the judgement of a person’s “Godliness”, look for quality and not a box to check. When you’re trying to assess “speed” of a relationship and how it’s progressing, you want to look within yourself (and behind their actions as well) for a sense of what is driving the heightened passion and regard. One of the best Christian dating tips is that even singles who are searching for serious relationships on different Christian dating sites should better remember that the best foundation for any truly happy relationship is often a friendship. Such friendship begins with shared interests, worldviews, and invitations to the community’s events. Be prayerful Dating, even Christian dating, can be challenging, so invite God and your trusted friends on the journey with you. If you’re feeling moved to start dating this year, ask for wisdom and discernment, and talk through your hopes and disappointments as you go through the process. DATING ADVICE 10 Dating Tips for Christian Singles By Dr. Linda Mintle Family Therapist. CBN.com – You are dating an incredibly good-looking guy. You both feel the attraction building up.

Even for the internet savvy, online dating still can bring about some anxiety. Age notwithstanding, the idea that you can meet someone from a picture and a few paragraphs and fall madly in love with them just blows your mind. You’ve seen plenty of movies where it’s worked out, but you’ve also lived enough life to know how hard marriage is and the idea of falling in love with a completely random stranger that you met on a website or app is a lot to process too.

But to quote Truvy in Steel Magnolias, “The Lord works in mysterious ways.”

You never know what could happen so step outside of your own personal comfort zone and just give it a try. Maybe don’t think about marriage at this point. Just think about dating and going to dinner or coffee with someone. That’s not bad, is it?

But where do you even begin? It’s a lot to figure out and, again, it can make you nervous—maybe even a little overwhelmed. We’re here to help. Here are some suggestions that might make getting your feet wet in the world of online dating a little easier…

1. Don’t Be Afraid of Traditional Online Dating Sites

Online dating sites like eharmony, Match.com, and Our Time are what we call “traditional online dating sites.” What that means is you set up an account, pay for a membership (1, 3, 6, or 12 months), and receive matches based on the parameters you set for yourself. Most traditional online dating sites also have apps, but the majority of the setting up process is usually done from your computer instead of via mobile.

If you’ve never used online dating, it can seem a bit daunting or nerve-wracking. Are you setting up your profile correctly? Are your privacy settings the way you want them? Are your pictures honest yet still good? How many pictures? What interesting information can you tell about yourself in your profile?

Don’t let those questions scare you away. It’s similar to setting up your Facebook profile. But one good idea is to get a trusted friend to help you or to look over it when you’re finished. They can advise you on the best pictures to post and review your profile and let you know if you need to share more about yourself or reel it in.

Which should you begin with? Check out our post for the Best Online Dating Sites for Over 50. Also, scroll down to the bottom of the page for the latest discounts and deals.

2. Don’t Be Afraid of Dating Apps

You’ve probably heard stories of Millennials and Gen Z’ers who use dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge and swipe right for sexual hook-ups. That’s definitely one use of them. However, apps are also a useful tool for just plain ol’ dating.

Since you’re in the Over 50 Club, though, chances are you’re not going to find as many matches in your age range because, at the moment, it’s primarily a younger generation thing. That said, there ARE people who are over 50 who are using dating apps successfully. It’s just that if there are fewer people in your age bracket who are using dating apps, then it stands to reason that there would be even fewer Christians who are over 50 and using them. That in no way means there are none, but it just means there are fewer.

But since dating apps are free, why not download and set up a profile on one of them? Most connect via your Facebook account so they’re even quicker and simpler to set up than a traditional online dating profile.

However, manage your expectations when using a dating app. There’s something to be said for people who pay to play, like the traditional online dating sites. Those folks have some skin in the game and are usually more committed because they’ve got dollar bills behind their efforts. When it comes to dating apps, you might find that your matches flake out on you a little easier because they’re not paying for that membership. They have no need to hurry because their subscription won’t run out soon and they can play the field and disappear easier when no money is involved. Don’t take it personally—it happens on dating apps all the time.

Check out our review of the Best Dating Apps for Christians.

3. Don’t Be Afraid to Use Both an App and a Traditional Online Dating Site

Once you’re comfortable with either the app or the traditional online dating site, add the other one to your dating game.

Since the apps are free and many of them are location-based, they can be a good addition to a traditional site, especially if you feel like you’ve run out of matches for a little bit. Likewise, if you’re solely using a dating app and you’re tiring of the swiping, add a traditional online dating site membership to your rotation. You’ll probably find more serious online dating users who give you more information upfront than the 1-2 questions posed on the dating apps.

Check out our review of the Best Christian Dating Sites.

4. Don’t Give Up Too Quickly

Rome wasn’t built in a day. There might be a few people who fall in love at first sight on the traditional sites or dating apps, but most people take longer than a few days or weeks to find a date. Everyone is different, though, and you can always hold out hope that you’re going to find the love of your life within a matter of days.

But if you don’t…

Don’t give up. In fact, it’s recommended—by us and others—that you give online dating at least 3 months before walking away. It takes a while to get your profile set up the way you like it, to communicate back and forth with your matches, and to really get in an online dating rhythm. Don’t throw in the towel with frustration if you don’t see immediate results. Even though you might think you don’t have all the time in the world to wait, dating at any age—whether online or in real life—really is a sprint and not a marathon.

For a more thorough discussion on why you shouldn’t quit too soon, check out our post on why you should give online dating at least 3 months before quitting.

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Dating was hard enough before the launch of every swipe right, swipe left, easy hook-up app.

And even if you can find a solid Christian single dating site or app, how likely is it that you’ll find your soulmate? And when you do, what are the necessary steps to take the connection from “you’re cute” to “I’d like to see where this relationship can go”?

We crave the intimacy of being part of a couple, but when your standards are high, it can take a while to find that special person.

Despite our internal struggle, a hard part of being single is the external pressure to be in a relationship.

How many times have you heard, “When are you going to settle down?” or “I can’t wait for grandkids.” How about, “What’s a gorgeous/smart/handsome guy/girl like you still doing on the market?” And heaven forbid, ladies, that someone mentions that the biological clock is ticking.

We know!

With all this pressure, it’s no wonder dating feels difficult. Each person has the potential to be “the one.

Necessary Christian Dating Advice before You Begin Dating

We’ve heard it all—the good, the bad, the annoying.

“Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.”

Otherwise known as: Don’t have sex before marriage.

“Men should pay for the date.”

Although I agree that the guy should pay for the first few dates. Once you’re a couple or heading that way, dates can be split, or the lady can pay. #OldFashionedAndNotSorry

And everyone’s favorite:

“You’ll find the right person when you stop looking.”

There’s a lot of truth to this. I think it’s more like, when you focus on yourself, your needs, your career, your relationship with God, you’re doing the things that the right person is looking for in a partner. Many times, that’s how you end up meeting.

Along with these clichés, there are some dating safety tips we’ve just got to share, particularly when you’re in the “still new” phase of the relationship:

• Drive yourself to the date. Don’t go home with the other person.
• Doesn’t make you a priority or respond to messages (here’s what to do in that situation). Have a friend on standby who knows where you are and when you should be home.
• Don’t give out too much personal information, despite how easy it is to find out stuff online. Stalk Comb through their social media profiles. What types of things do they post? Who do they hang out with? What type of language do they use in the comments?
• If you’re dating online or long-distance, avoid the temptation for late-night, in-bedroom video chats. Things go south quickly.

Safety is crucial but if we set guardrails around the experience, it allows us the room and freedom to be ourselves and breathe a little.

It’s called setting standards and we never apologize for it.

What Does the Bible Say about Christian Single Dating?

The Bible doesn’t say a lot about dating because “dating” is a modern concept in terms of how long we’ve been on the planet. A courtship is more along the lines of what our beloved biblical heroes and heroines would have experienced.

For instance, girls as young as 12 were of marrying age and boys were 18 or younger (although there were rules and provisions that are quite interesting). In a nutshell, marriages were arranged and there was a betrothal process that could last up to a year.

Dating today is much different, at least in Western society. In the US, men and women today are getting married in their late 20s and an engagement period can last as long as they choose.

So instead of looking for “dating advice” in the Scripture, we need to explore what the Bible says about marriage and about a godly character so that we can be fully prepared and ready.

The Bible says to avoid people:

• with short tempers (see Proverbs 22:24), who are lazy (see Proverbs 21:25)
• who don’t take care of their family (1 Timothy 5:8), and most importantly, who is either not a believer or claims it but doesn’t live like it (see 2 Corinthians 6:14-15).

Marriage is sacred. It means submitting to each other (see Ephesians 5) and leaving our parents and becoming one with our mate (see Genesis 2:24).

What Are Some Red Flags to Watch Out for in the Christian Single Dating World?

You must trust your gut.

You must trust the gut of those who love you.

Lots of gut-trusting in the dating scene. How romantic.

99.9 percent of the time, there are warning signs, aka red flags, that something isn’t quite right about the relationship. And sometimes you can’t see those red flags because the thought of confrontation or the possible end of the relationship keeps you quiet.

Our feelings aren’t always the best indicator of what our behavior should be, as Kris Swiatocho and Cliff Young share in this article.

Some warning signs that a relationship isn’t healthy:

• Controlling behavior, limiting your time with friends and family, being overly jealous
• Physically abusive in any way, needs you to “check-in”, wants you to ask permission to do things
• Not respecting your opinion, bad-mouthing your family and friends, name-calling, or extreme yelling during a fight

There are more but these are some subtle (and in the case of physical abuse, not subtle), warning signs.

If you find yourself in a relationship that isn’t healthy and you’re scared to leave, there are organizations full of people that can help, like the National Domestic Violence Hotline which allows you to make a phone call (1-800-799-SAFE [7233]) or check out their website and live chat.

Is it My Time to Date or Am I Idolizing the Need for a Relationship?

According to Census.gov, the divorce rates over the last 10 years have dropped (yay), but so have the marriage rates.

A couple of reasons for this come to mind. Living together is socially acceptable so getting married isn’t seen as a pre-requisite for joining your life with someone else. Also, a focus on starting your career is taking precedence over getting married young. There are more options available for working wherever you want, especially after this past year, so settling down isn’t seen as the main option for happiness.

So how do we separate the longing for a relationship from knowing if it’s actually the right time for us to be in a relationship?

We need to take an authentic look at our motivations and ask hard questions.

Are we ready, as in emotionally and financially stable, to be able to help support another person?

Is long-term, marriage-is-forever commitment something we’re ready to jump into?

What can we bring to the table that another person is going to see as an asset?

Is an emptiness or longing the main reason we want to be in a relationship?

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I don’t think there are solid “yes” or “no” answers that can be given to each of these questions because sometimes it’s a sliding scale.

We want to be ready to support (or help support) another person and sometimes being in a relationship means a financial burden will be lessened because costs can be shared.

Ideally, marriage is forever but sometimes it doesn’t work out. Keeping our eyes out for red flags during the dating scene is imperative but we change as time goes on. Do we know what we’re willing to put up with and what our deal-breakers are?

The longing to be in a relationship isn’t wrong. We were created for it. Literally. God said it wasn’t good for us to be alone and He invented partnership when He created Eve (see Genesis 2). The caution is not allowing the desire to be with someone to become so strong that it clouds our judgment.

The commitment is real and powerful, so spend time thinking about the qualities you want in your future spouse. To give you a starting place, here are seven essential qualities to look for in a godly man and seven essential characteristics of a godly woman. We can also make sure we’re checking the list off for ourselves, too!

The decision of who you marry is one of the most important decisions you’ll make. Make it wisely, not rashly. Consult with those who love you to make sure they’re not seeing red flags that you’re ignoring. And most of all, enjoy the season of life you are in.

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Further Reading

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Bethany Jett is a multi-award-winner for her books and marketing campaigns and is a sought-after speaker for women and teens. An entrepreneur at heart, Bethany co-owns two companies within the publishing industry.

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She is a military wife to her college sweetheart and a work-from-home momma-of-boys who loves planners, suspense novels, and all things girly.

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Connect with Bethany on your favorite platform by checking out her site: BethanyJett.com